oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize