just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
