The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
