yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
