He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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