It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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