I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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