I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize