home. puking in laundry basket.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
how drunk are you?
Several
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
