He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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