apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
