I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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