I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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