i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
