i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
