i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
