As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Alive.
So much puke
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
