Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
