You work out of a Hotel?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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