About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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