think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm like, not good at living.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
