I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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