you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Green mimosas i think yes
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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