but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
