Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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