wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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