she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
