He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
