you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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