WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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