you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
