I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
