I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
