ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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