Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
