Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
