And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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