Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
