I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize