Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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