then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
