just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
