Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
