Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
