did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
