How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
