who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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