Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
