I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
