we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
