Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm both gender and math confused
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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