Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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