I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
