I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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