I want to stick my p in your. b.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
