I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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