So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
