I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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