We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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