my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
