You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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