Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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