Buhtt sex?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
