I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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