I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
