it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize